Apoplectic Press made Oddity of the Week a little while back for their political rant birthday cards, the brutal honesty of which might not be appreciated by all, but certainly a change of pace from recycled drugstore-rack sentiment. Bob Mannseichner, card designer and mischief-maker, sent us a stack of “Dishearteningly Honest Anti-Christmas Cards,” which the Chateau, semi-regular readers of Mark Morford that we are, found riotously funny.
The cards are printed on what looks like recycled paper which suggests parchment, due to the neo-Victorian(Dickensian?) collage imagery that Mannseichner likes to use for his covers. Inside, the reader is treated to diatribes like these:
If I were Jesus and I dropped by one December to see what the human race had learned from my teachings of love, equity and compassion (for which, incidentally, I was rewarded with torture and crucifixion) only to find a ruthlessly accelerating global epidemic of individualism, possessiveness, debauchery and environmental desecration epitomised by a scandalously lurid, psychotically unsustainable, corporate-sponsored extravaganza of decadence – in honour of my BIRTH! I would probably beg my father to erase every last trace of the criminally insane human species and start all over again with the amoeba.
Another favorite:
Is it just me or is there something vaguely appalling about commemorating the birth of an allegedly divine infant (whose life would inspire countless acts of compassion and benevolence) by drowning our offspring in disposable, media-hyped novelties assembled by disposable children forced to toil in slave-labour sweatshops; moreover, paying for the grisly merchandise with currency that embodies a perfectly amoral system of socio-economic exploitation, based on the wickedly devious lies of enlightened self-interest. Yet, somehow, the garish spectacle appears rational and even altruistic because we idiotically believe the psychotic ramblings of economists who are, ostensibly, the real deities of this shameless pretence for civilisation. Oh well …it’s probably just me.
Cards are $1.75 apiece, and Mannseicher is open to reduced rates for nonprofits and fundraisers.
