Dear Brian:

I’ve just seen your latest video, “Running to the Edge of the World.”
Congratulations on your latest incarnation: total douchebag.

I very patiently waited for you to wrestle your demons and get back to work – you were at your best when you played in the mythical and abstract, holding up a mirror to society’s hypocrisy. You’re not a stupid guy – especially in the way you handled the blame for Columbine. I was so curious to see how the mind that created Antichrist Superstar would mature, what you would have to say from an older, wiser perspective.

I suffered through your terrible attempts at cabaret, felt mortified for your coattailing the lolita trend and how you had to show the world, so tastefully, that you can still get hot young chicks. At that point, you really needed to take a break from music. Write novels, take up oil painting, see how your creativity would manifest in another artistic direction. Go on a 6-week opium binge. Travel the world. Something transformative where you’d come back with new things to say.

But no. You went the celebrity route.

You’re still trying for that unsettling persona, trying to stay larger than life. Has anyone ever told you it’s OK to be human? I’ll tell you. Brian, it’s OK to be human. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but YouTube and reality TV have sucked the mystique out of all our icons. There will be no more rockstars – you were the last one. And you’re still hanging on, and you’re making a fool out of yourself.

I know I’m late to the party on this, but forgive me, after hearing your latest album, I wasn’t exactly in a hurry to see it.

Well, I did.
And I’m done with you.
(Not linking to the video, besides everybody’s probably seen it already anyway.)

That mirror, the one that used to reveal the world’s barbarity, has now been turned on you.
How on earth is this any kind of transgressive? For many women, this is Tuesday night. Oh, but wait, it’s supposed to be sexxxay.
You’ve had your head up Hollywood’s ass for so long, you no longer relate to your fans. Many of whom are female. Many of whom are getting together on the internet to discuss how goddamned scary it is to leave an abusive boyfriend. This video made my scars twitch. Damn straight you no longer have anything to say to me.

What’s really sad about all this is that you have fame, you have support. You have amazing resources at your disposal, you can broadcast any random brainfart you wish to the attention of millions. You could have done anything you wanted, and this is the artistic statement you chose: I hate my ex-girlfriend! Waaaaaah!

Keep slapping on that white foundation, Brian. You’ll learn someday it can’t cover up the stench of banality.

scorn and pity,
Lilah