(Originally published November 12, 2002.)

Hello, and welcome to the second installment of Haute or Not. We have decided to start publishing this feature quarterly, as there’s no shortage of bad couture imagery to fashion future pieces from. If you know of a designer who should be profiled, or have a good pic just ripe for critique, do email us. All images presented here are from FirstView. Enjoy.

Ah, where do we begin. Thank you, Arkadius, for blessing us with this monstrosity. Apparently corsets, even when cinched to within an inch of your life, are not enough containment for all that feminine wildness. Even worse, someone thought this piece erotic enough to deserve runway nudity.

Cosmic Wonder. Indeed. “But…but…I really wanted to be in Emily’s Ghoul School! Shoot, I can’t hang with the goths…maybe if I grow this cute little orange tail and put on this mopey little face the Yum Pop people will put me on a babydoll tee?”

OK, so feathers have now become a glam staple, but this is overkill. I don’t know what mystery or erotica Eymeric Francois found in a bag of dead chickens, but that doesn’t seem to be stopping the model, who seems to be oblivious to the feathers leaking from her couture mesh.

Now here’s something rough and rugged to appeal to the rivethead aesthetic! Spiff up those cheesy 80’s one-shouldered tank tops with–a unibra from Dirk Bikkenbergs! Yes, how tough, perhaps meant to remind one of Amazon lore, yes, how stylish, giving up on belts and moving upward to provide more contrast of color and texture, yes, how weird, if you consider how this looks when wearing it as lingerie.

Givenchy. No comment needed.

And the bride wore breasts! This Anand Jon peek-a-boob number stands up and says “hello” on your special day!

Marjan Djodjov Pejowski. Is this designer saying, “we are all just pawns of the fashion industry?” Is the fold-out wonder of holiday accordion tissue really that fascinating to work with? Do we really just enjoy looking at models making complete asses of themselves?

Tune in February 2003, for the next installation of Haute or Not.

Missed the first round? Click here.