Oh, BABY! This week’s merch item was ever so much fun to review!! Black Sun Products is an over-21 fetish shop specializing in handcrafted smackers. Everything is made with sensation as the ultimate goal, so while there are evil-looking floggers with tails of ball chain and stainless steel “turnings,” and a classic rubber paddle, some of the items, like the handheld “texture pads,” might look a little more…odd. As in, not quite something that goes with the rest of the shiny black leather things in the toolbelt…right?

Well, if you’re buying this stuff just for fashion – which you shouldn’t, you poseurs – you’re really going to miss out if you pass over this rubber crop for looking a little…nontraditional. Which, we admit, it does. We weren’t quite sure what to make of it at first after getting it out of the package…is there more? Er, no – a question which was immediately answered with the first swift smack into an open palm. And then: damn this thing is a fun little toy!! Not only do you get a nice noisy wallop, but there’s enough give and smoothness to the silicone that you get a sweet little sting on the skin – something you just want to keep repeating immediately and continuously, in our case. Whee! Suffice it to say The Chateau cannot stop playing with this thing. The web site says this one is the most popular. We are not surprised.

Crops are customizable with your choice of textured handle (one of which is available with a riff on “The Nutcracker”) and rubber tip. This keychain also came in our package – rare is promo item that would make some pretty cool tribal-industrial jewelry. So you do get something to wear in your bondage belt after all.

It was the online meeting of two young starving artists that led to the creation of Archaic Expression.
Run by Kire and Brooke(who is the model for “Portrait,” third pic below), this webstore features a lot of their black and white photography, which is a refreshing throwback to the days of graveyard statuary, babydoll faces, and shattered attics, before anime invaded goth with a googly eyed vengeance. Kire also has a solo project called The Mute Girl’s Tongue, which fits the mood of their photos perfectly – the bleak and spooky side of bootgazer, the atmosphere akin to a howling wind.

Their portfolio is a bit uneven, but shows potential through images such as “Silver Cord,” pictured above. Broken pianos, gnarled trees, black fingernails curled to a woman’s bare back – their aesthetic is pure 80’s goth, and even better considering both artists are in their early twenties.

Imagery is available on good-quality 8×10’s, glossy print posters, and covers for spiral-bound journals, as well as tees, lunchboxes, clocks, stickers, buttons, and cards. Their album, Gnostic Child, is available for purchase on their site as well.

Arcane Nonesuch is a two-person business from Salem, Massachusetts, run from the home of designers Rebecca Dunn and Josh DeVries. Theirs is a wonderfully eclectic catalog, with geishas, tattoo art, and tarot cards enshrined in glass and metal, with a wildcard “Found Objects” page open for unclassifiable whims. And since each piece is crafted by hand, no two are alike. Up for review this week: from their Pagan selection, their Autumnal Pentagram.

First of all, it must be said that artisan-styled pagan jewelry is always a great find. Silver pentacles will always be lovely, but there is a real hunger in the earth-religion communities for more original, creative riffs on ancient symbology. Here, the classic pentagram is nestled inside a gold maple leaf, with a cursive background suggesting a page from a handwritten grimoire. Locked inside its metal square, this contrast of order upon nature is presented in warm tones, and the effect is like a little picture frame hanging round your neck. And check out the back.

The artists caution against wearing these pieces in water and even being careful with perfume or hairspray around them, and if you need to clean them, use paper towels, never immersion. Check out their site for more pagan jewelry – especially a really cute “Crafty” necklace – and if you buy three pendants, shipping is free.

Cherry Doll is a brand-new site from Xoe Comfort, who has lots of psychobilly treats up her sleeve, starting with super-cute tote bags. There are several varieties available – plain denim emblazoned with skulls and chicks on wheels, leather handpainted in frankenstein faces, and totally psychotic brocade done up in iron crosses and sacred hearts. Xoe sent us a brocade bag – good stuff!

Measuring 13×13 inches, these bags are very well-made with sturdy denim and strong stitching and a big fat iron cross patch on the front, so there’s no worries over everything apart at an inopportune moment. A considerate snap fastens the top to keep all your necessities from spilling out.

Even better, it’s reversible – one side is brocade with the other all-denim. which when flipped inside-out shows off a pinup-bedecked pocket on the reversed fabric pattern.

The final irresistible touch is a handpainted skull flower pinned to a strap.

Xoe has more on the way, including makeup bags, belts, necklaces, and hair clips like this handpainted “Butterskull” clip, mounted on a polka-dotted ribbon. Given the originality and high quality of her current stock, we can’t wait to see them.

“Beauty accoutrements for the discerning Harlot.” And thus begins FeMaledictions, a brand-new shop that sells dark-themed perfume solids. Ingredients begin with a base of wax or butter, blended with steam-distilled or cold-pressed essential oils and floral waters. There are no “extenders” – nor animal products – so you’re getting a natural, veggie-happy blend. They’re available in are quarter-ounce and one ounce sizes.

sCara sent us some of the quarter-ounce solids, which arrived wrapped in red tulle and a sliver of black lace. And quite fragrant!

• Zam Zam: Myrrh, orange, ginger, cinnamon, clove, caraway seed, and vanilla. Nice and warm with lots of spice.
• Carnality: Wonderful if you yearn to butter yourself in sandalwood.
• Snake Goddess: Orchid, ylang ylang, jasmine, rose, oriental woods and moroccan rose water. Floral and sweet and very, very femme.
• Belly Dance: Rosehips, jasmine, and moroccan rose water. A really nice flavor of flowercandy.
• Pumpkinhead: pumpkin, cinnamon, cardamom, nutmeg, and other spices. Smells like you could eat it.
• DeSade’s Garden: chamomile, tangerine, pettigrain, geranium, sage, and moss. A nice riff on classic rose.

Quarter-ounce solids run seven dollars a pop, which is not bad considering solids tend to last longer than they appear. sCara also has shaving soaps, butter lotions, gift baskets, and other body treats planned for the future.

LH Style is a new shop which sells stylish handcrafted binders, home to an eclectic little catalog of designs: leopard print and lipstick kisses, elegant Asian script, kilt-pinned plaid, or satin-framed butterflies. There are special albums for weddings and babies, and other binders devoted to world travel or adored pets. We were sent a “Tropical Vinyl” mini-binder for review, and upon opening this package, my first thought was of being seven years old and looking through my aunt’s kitschy photo albums, which she’d bought in the 70’s to showcase Sixties-era pictures of my family. It’s SO cute!

(oh, and that little guy in the background? That’s Bingo, one of our first two foster kittens for the season. He’ll be up for adoption at the SF-SPCA in a few weeks.)

Measuring 9 by 7 inches, it features a background of bright spring green, with a sprawling floral motif. It’s done up in a very sturdy vinyl, quite impressive for being handmade – this is definitely something that will last you through the next few decades as a memento-holder, or a safe place to keep a journal if you’ve had it with toting around flimsy notebooks. The interior is yellow cloth, and it arrives considerately packed with protective paper folded between the rings and the flaps, within a cloth bag. A nice blend of good design and high-quality construction definitely recommended if you’re in the binder market.

Albums do not include photo pages or paper, but are available as an extra. Custom is also available. (Unfortunately not for sale, but worth a mention: the Punk Rock binder.)

There it is, tiny and suspended in a bar of soap. The polymer brainchild of soapmaker Lisa, FetoSoaps each feature a fetus just shy of an inch, available in themes of mermaids, adorable conjoined twins, and even itty-bitty mohawked punk fetuses. The bar she sent us features the plain-jane “cletus fetus,” in a round bar of clear glycerin soap, scented with lavender. The scent is light and understated, no cheap screaming whiff to smack you in the face upon unwrapping the package. It’s a little stickier to the touch than your typical commercial bar, but in a nice “somebody made this by hand” way. It also leaves the skin squeaky-clean after washing, which means it’s probably best as a beside-the-sink wash-your-hands bar – and really, why hide this from your guests behind a shower curtain? Best of all, when the bar’s finished, you get to keep the fetus. Five dollars and free shipping for U.S. and Canadian customers. Oh, and she’s now added a page of nonfeto soap as well.